i write from my heart, based on what and how i feel..not to impress others, but to satisfy myself

Saturday, July 17, 2010

tears are the words that heart cannot say??

i came across this beautiful quote when i was randomly liking quotes in my FB. staring at the words, i couldn't agree more with the quote. we cry when we are overwhelmed with feelings, when there's no word can explain the way we feel. at this moment, i am really hoping that i can shed some tears, so i can let go this huge bulk inside me...somehow, i cant....and it hurts me even more coz i cannot express whatever i keep bottled within me. rage, anger, disappointment, frustation, broken, lost....u name it...i'm on war, with my two best buddies inside me; my brain vs. my heart.

spending too much time at home, doing nothing had taken the toll upon me..where i'm at a turning point; i find it really hard to understand and grasp the things going on around me...suddenly, i feel like everything around me is moving so damn fast and surprisingly, i dont seem to fit in..like a loose piece that would never stick to the puzzle, no matter how hard i try...

i find it really hard to trust what people say, really hard to let them understand what and how things are going on inside my head. i seem to be alienated from my very ideal version of life...there is a part inside me, longing to bury my head in books, and suddenly i miss the adrenaline rush, the stress and the sleepless nights when i was completing my final year project. i miss doing something that i like, something that i'm good at. doing nothing, listening to words without being able to do something about it hurts me. and it hurts me even more when the people i thought knew me inside out, treats me the same way...all i ever wanted is a place where i really belong, without being judged, without being accused of doing things that i will never do, even in my dreams...a place where i fit in, and a heart where i can dwell...i'm feeling the feeling that i promised not to ever feel again, the feeling that i havent felt for like 2 years..A.L.O.N.E

right now, listening to My Immortal by Evanescence and praise to Him,tears are coming down now
 
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

2 comments:

wirda ahmad said...

sheela...are you ok? dont be sad dear..things happened for reason..we just worked hard on it and let HIM do the rest..take care sis..

meg shiei said...

huuu..trying to be ok ni kak wi T_T

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