i write from my heart, based on what and how i feel..not to impress others, but to satisfy myself

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


collecting the remnants of the broken me
time glides, still my dimension remains
counting and weighing, still, i'm here in this very cubicle
never changed, never moved
the stirrings within, is more like turbulence storming inside
why cant i see, why cant i hear,
why am i deaf, why am i mute
here i am
collecting the remaining pieces of me

collecting the remnants of broken me
tears came forth, knees furled up to my chest
dark, hands covering the face
i've been here before
now i'm here again
collecting the remaining pieces of me

collecting the remnants of broken me
is it wrong to understand
to hope
to dream
after all, this is no wonderland
aware of the roller coaster ride,
but never thought it would hurt this much
when tender words are expected
when what really wanted is the feeling of being wanted,
being owned
its just too much

collecting the remaining pieces of me

all i want is to belong somewhere
where i actually mean something

**currently listening to pieces by sum 41


Thursday, November 11, 2010

those micro cuts deep inside

how does it feels when your everything is not good enough?reality check, it hurts...thoughts will come running, one after another..and when everything is not good enough to make up for the unpleasant past, there will be a point where you doubt, almost everything related, even the very beginning of it.

the thoughts and the doubts that arise, they are ugly, they really are..makes you glance to your past, thinking of all the decisions made, all the words said, all the promises made and kept (and broken) and it vexes you so much that inside you grow numb. trying to ignore the thing gnawing inside, it is not that you are being ignorant, but you care so much that it causes you less pain when you ignore the fact that you were never good enough.

sometimes, love is just not enough...and sometimes, love is the reason that you suppress everything deep inside, though you know the truth..bak kate pepatah, love the way you lie (cewahh..sejak bile plak ade pepatah baru ni dlm DBP pny kamus)...all those little lie said to protect the heart, actually hurts the most when you know the truth, a lie

after all, everything in life is perfectly imperfect :)