too hurt to care~

it is stressed here that i write to express myself, not to impress others..sebarang komen kondem-mengkondem, tidak akn dilayan (perrgghh), since i'm writing about what i feel at the moment :|

i wonder why people around me take me easy, like "its ok to do whatever, u can sweet-talk her and things will be fine"? like they can do whatever (breaking promises, say whatever) coz in the end, i "wouldn't mind" and i'll "be fine...kalau merajuk k marah k, sekejap je" well, actually, i DO mind, i am NOT fine everytime people do stuffs like that to me.

yes, i MIND when promises were broken,i MIND when things intended for me were given to somebody else (coz i never do that to people), i MIND when people were playing nice with me, i MIND when people leave me alone dangling, i DAMN MIND when people write and/or say thing behind my back yet acting miss goody-goody in front me, and i FUCKIN MIND when people treat me like i stupid, like i'm not gonna be able to find out about all the bitching and shit done on my very back...WELL I'M NOT AN OPTION! if people want me to treat them like a PRIORITY, why dont learn to do the same?

tired of being a puppet (mcm pinocchio bile kne tgkap ngan org jahat). i am a grown up, treat me like one..don't tell me what to do, each and every time. stop telling me how to make decisions..for like 24 years, i make my own decisions, i learn not to burden others, i spend most of my time ALONE when i really needed someone to guide me through....i dont need people to babysit me now, i NEEDED them then, not now. i'm a girl, not someone's wife...so please stop treating girls like they are married with 4 kids. there are no strings attached, you might wake up tomorrow, and poof, the girl is not there...i need some air to breathe, some space to grow...

the truth is, i'm just too hurt to care..and no, i'm not writing this post because i had a fight with someone. this is just something suppressed inside for too long and need a room to burst